How Thar Came 2 Be Buffler in Montany or Why Thar Aint No Buffler in Airzony, a cante fable by Horse Apple (Western U.S.)
It war hottern hell long tima ago when Airzony grass no longer growed.
Bufflerd et it cleen 2 the ground.  Narry a blade cood be found.
   Back then thar war buffler far as a feller cood see.  Sir Harry war the hed bull buffler o all Airzony an he had him a son, a bull calf named Looie.  Looie war spoilt rotten.  An Sir Harry war so important that he had trained pijjins what dun everthing he asked incloodin takin messiges to all the huge herd what streched 4 miles.
    Sir Harry desided the herd wood have 2 move or starve so he sent out the pijjins to tell the herd they were movin 2 Montany.  But Looie sayed, "I aint goin.  I like it here in Airzony."
     Sir harry sayed, "You do as I say an ifn you dont like it I'll have my traned pijjins drag to 2 Montany."
     Zack sayed, "O no Father.  I dont wanna be pijjin towed." 
     Well, with that Looie desided to foller along and after 2 months the huge buffler herd arrived in Montany.  But years after the buffler left Airzony a dezert they named it after the hed bull buffler.  They calt it the Sir Harry desert.
     But up in Montany thar war a big mountin lion named Zack.  Zack wanrt nun 2 happy that all them buffler came 2 Montany.  See Zack war parshal 2 elk and them buffler wood be eetin all the elks grass.  So Zack rored 2 Sir Harry, "You an yer shaggy friends git the hell out o Montany.  This is my cuntry."
     Well Sir Harry war 1 big bull and he warnt lissnen to no pussy cat.  "Dont bother me kitty.", he sayed.
     Zack war spitten mad an he leeped at Sir Harry all teeth and claws.  The damdest fite yoo ever seen commensed.  Them 2 fot fer 3 days and Sir Harry had bled so much he came to be week.  When Zack seen the opening he went in for the kill and that war the end o the big bull buffler.
     Zack war so proud o hizzself, not to mention starved, that he ate that entire buffler cleen 2 the bone.  Boy howdy war he stuffed.  Then jez 2 show he runned things in Montany, he climed up on a rock an let out the loudest rore heed ever let.
     Az it happened I war walkin by bout then.  When I heered that rore I shiverd at first but then I leveled my Hawkin on that painter an squoze 1 off.  He floo off that rock like heez hit by a cannon which he dam near waz.  He war ded when he hit the ground.
Thars a moral 2 this story and its nuthin but,
When yer full o bull ... keep yer mout shut.